How Goth

I probably shouldn't be turning internet dating into a family affair, but when my son saw me scrolling through the photos of men who'd tagged me as a favorite, he immediately plopped down next to me and insisted he get a say in who I wrote.

Which is why the first person I contacted was this long-haired guy who used to be Goth and play in a rock band and now wears a long, black cape.

I wasn't quite sure how to introduce myself, so my son helped out: "Sorry for the delay in getting back...I have a 13-year-old who sings and wants to learn to play bass. He'd like to meet you." Not the most romantic message, but truthful.

Sure enough, the guy wrote back. And he was truthful too. Right up front, he told me he had a girlfriend. "But she knows I talk with women online," he wrote. "She's pretty cool with me having what we call, 'Paul's Pickled Harem.'" Then he asked if I wanted to join it.

I'm not sure how to answer. Obviously with some kind of culinary metaphor. Like...