A Squid Thing

Could it be that this searching for a soulmate business is really an hormonal thing? At every other age, hormones have their way with us, why not now. How else to explain the uniformity in our thinking. I mean, take adolescents. Specifically my son

This morning as we were rushing around the house to get out the door, he tells me that yesterday a classmate posed an interesting question: Which would you rather have a penis that could lift 30 pounds or a detachable penis? Before I could ask what he'd answered, he explained that it was really a very serious question because elephants have the former and squids have the latter, like in whoops - there it goes.

Who knows whether he's right, but it's curious that a 13-year-old boy would even think to ask that question, let alone that I didn’t find it bizarre? I know why. It's because he’s an adolescent and that means hormones.

So why shouldn’t I cut myself the same kind of slack. I’m sure there’s some divorced, single mom kind of hormone that would explain some of my strange new behavior - like slathering extra virgin olive oil all over my face, or asking my old boyfriends who are married, if they know anyone good to fix me up with.

My very first boyfriend didn’t, but offered a piece of advice: “The problem is 'handsome' guys. They're full of themselves and unwilling to commit, especially as they get older. You'd be better off looking for an ordinary guy who is a keeper.”

Maybe he's right. But not what my hormones wanted to hear.