The Box

Just when I'm ready to pull the plug - or more accurately delete my internet dating profile - Mr. Next shows up and invites me to a black tie event.

We haven't met yet. In fact, we haven't even talked. When he asked for my number, I said I'd rather just meet. Sure enough, he went along with it, asking me to join him at an HIV fundraiser this Saturday night.

I said yes. But I keep thinking I should say no. My son is with me this weekend. I could spend the evening with him, playing Axis & Allies or a long game of Monopoly. Too, not having anything appropriate to wear, I'll have to borrow a dress from a friend, if she even has one to share. Not to mention that my son has orchestra rehearsal that afternoon. By the time we get home, I pull myself together, and grab a taxi to the hotel (he offered to pick me up, but like I taught my son, never climb into a car), the dinner could be halfway through.

Oh, how easily reasons not to go stream in. Is it fear? Apathy? Nope, I think it's about being vulnerable. About standing in the middle of a tuxedoed crowed, watching everyone laughing gaily, while I, with a gin and tonic in one hand and maybe even holding a gentleman's hand with the other, end up feeling alone.

And yet I know I'll go. I'll say yep. I always do. Because I always tell myself 1) you never know...2) it'll build up my stepping-out-of-the box muscles, and 3) when it comes right down to it, what's the worst that can happen? In this case, I spill on my friend's dress.