The Art of Answers

Books. They're coming at me left and right. "Love Lessons" by the New York Times reporter who writes the Vows column; "The Path to Love" by Deepak Chopra. "Spiritual Divorce" by Debbie Ford. And now yesterday, "The Attraction Distraction - Why the Law of Attraction Isn't Working for You and How to Get Results."

My girlfriend, Anne, sent it to me unannounced, I'm guessing because she's heard me go on and on about my ex (whom, to her regret, she introduced me to) as well as the ex before him. I haven't started the book yet, but on the back cover it says I'll find out what I'm doing wrong, why I keep sabotaging myself, and thankfully, how I can turn that around.

My friend Susan, who's been on her own almost thirty years, and is the happiest person I know, says I should toss all these books out and get back to reading real literature. Love comes out of friendships, she insists, and only after you've first learned to love yourself.

Another friend, on the other hand, who like me has been married twice and is quite determined to make it three, treats these kinds of books like they're her closest companions. Her current relationship is holding steady so she doesn't turn to them as much she used to, but not too long ago, she'd spend many of her Saturday nights in bed, surrounded by stacks of self-help tomes.

Me...I fall somewhere in-between. I keep a pile of "spiritual" books, as I call them, close by on my nightstand, but go in and out of reading them, scouring them intensely for a day or two, then losing not just interest or my place, but the entire book.

Like this morning when I went looking for my copy of Lao-tzu’s "Tao Te Ching," or Book of the Way, with its 81 brief chapters on the art of living. Anne gave me this one too and just like she sometimes does, I thought I'd open it to a random page and see what piece of advice turned up.

After searching through my bookshelves, under my bed, and all around the house, however, Tao Te Ching was not to be found. For a moment, I was unsettled. Then I decided, what the heck, today I'll go it alone. I'll step out on faith and handle life's important questions on my own.

And that's just what I've been doing. Eating leftover Thai food for breakfast. Playing gin rummy with my son instead of getting to work. Hang self-improvement, I say. It's time to have a little fun.