Me Jane

Maybe it's just the alignment of stars these days, but I seem to be attracting a cascade of...how should I put it...willy-nilly men.

Take Date #14. He called the other day and asked what was up over the weekend. Thinking he meant literally, I began outlining all the activities I had on my calendar, when it hit me that what he was really wondering was whether I wanted to do something with him.

"Is that right?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Oh, okay, sure," I responded then waited to hear what he had in mind. Then I waited some more, until finally asking, "Did you have anything in mind?"

"No," he said. "You choose."

Wait a second, I thought, you're asking me out. You should do the picking, or at least make a suggestion. And that's what I told him.

"But I don't care," he said. "A movie. Dinner. A drink. Whatever you want. Is it so hard for you to choose?"

"No," I replied.

But before I could continue, he said he had to get off the phone. "I'll call you back," he concluded, though guess what, he never did.

Probably, I shouldn't fault the guy. After all, a few weeks before, another fellow had asked me out or kind of did. He wanted me to tell him when, where, and what we were going to do, and he'd show up.

Then there was a third suitor who emailed saying that he was a friend of a friend, but I should know up front that he doesn't chase. By which I assume he meant that if anything was going to happen between us, I should get ready for some heavy lifting.

Now maybe these men thought they were being considerate. And I'm sure some people would say, I'm being a wimp. A strong, independent woman, after all, should know what she wants. Why should the man always have to decide? And it's a legitimate question.

But as a single, working mom who has chosen to freelance, my life sometimes feels like one never-ending, decision fest. I'm not complaining. Still, it would be kind of nice, sort of like getting flowers, to not have to be in charge when it comes to date night, at least right off the bat.

Which doesn't mean I want the hyper-dominant, take charge, me, me, me kind of man, whom I've known all too well in the past. But what about someone in-between. Not too short, not too tall. Not too fat, not too lean. Say, a Marlboro man who does Ikebana. Or even better, a Tarzan who likes to clean.